Besides the fact that I am always thinking and analyzing ... I found this picture online today and the little wheels in my brain started turning. The concept of this photo was created by Dr. Edward de Bono; he was a thinker, physician and author. Through his founding of the Cognitive Research Trust (CoRT) and his book Six Thinking Hats he was able to present his ideas about a different kind of thinking. You betcha that I am going to be purchasing a copy of that book! A book to analyze how I analyze ... I am so there!
Over the last week, I have been doing a lot of thinking (surprise, surprise)! I recently watched the film, Into the Wild; two words: thought provoking (for sure).
Quick film synopsis: Chris McCandless graduates from Emory University and decides that he doesn't want to live the societal norm lifestyle ... so he cuts up his credit cards, any form of identification and donates all of his savings that were intended for law school to charity because he wants to travel across the country and eventually reach Alaska. He also decides to assume this new lifestyle by changing his name to Alexander Supertramp.
My analysis of the film ... here goes! (I am going to refer to him as Supertramp because I feel that he never really knew himself as Chris McCandless, meaning he never really knew the real him, until the end of the film) Supertramp wanted to withdraw from society because he wanted to find truth; he felt that society corrupted/infected people (much so in the sense of his parents trying to portray a picture perfect relationship). The lies and distrust from his parents relationship seemed to have a huge impact on his drive to go on this adventure to find truth. It is apparent through the film because when he began to create relationships with people, he would withdraw and continue with his quest to Alaska. I feel that this is very symbolic in our own lives, in my own life - when I feel pain and disappointment from these expectations that society has given me, I feel lost and confused because I've always been instilled to believe that there is a right way.
I think the part of the film that really struck me was the ending when Chris (notice how I called him Chris because I feel that in the end, he was able to really connect with his true self) writes in one of his books ... "Happiness only real when shared" - this really got me thinking. Going into the wild was Supertramp's form of escapism - he didn't know how to really become cognitive of his inner struggles and face them until he experienced what he did while in the wilderness. I see this play out in life when we run away from our experiences of our past (our actions can show by being superficial, avoiding, shutting out, acting foolish, etc). We experience all of this angst, run and through this "escape" we only end up ... ALONE. Which brings the feeling of no one understanding, not belonging ... alienation. It brings us back to square one!
Bringing it back to society, society has its benefits, but it also has its negatives; it often creates what I like to call, cookie cutter mind sets and destroy the real beauties in life (one of them being our freedom to feel that we can be "individuals"). I think that the focus needs to be on self-awareness. Although it is important to analyze, it is also important to live. I have found it difficult at times to take myself out of the analyzing role; after looking deeper and deeper into things, I find myself running circles around my doubts, around my insecurities. Sometimes I don't know if the way my mind works is positive or negative - I do know that I hate thinking in circles. When I am just living in the moment, things are amazing - its when I start to really pick things apart that my fingers get sticky.
I have found myself in a very different place; much like how Supertramp felt after graduating college. The feeling of not belonging, the feeling of wanting to go on an adventure, the feeling of wanting to know truth about the world. Now that I am done with my degree and major, I am able to focus on things I really have a passion for (not that I don't have a passion for public relations)... but, I want to educate myself more about being spiritual (rather than religious), psychology (because I want to use my experiences and ability to make parallel connections of past experiences and current behaviors to empathize with others as well as genuinely help others become self aware), philosophy (because I have dipped my toes in a couple courses during my undergrad degree and I am interested in learning more), different cultures (because I have always been ashamed of mine and recently began embracing it, I can only imagine how beautiful other cultures are) and just getting comfortable in my skin (embracing the me that was always there but was afraid to come out because of what others would think).
I think I am on my own path of going into the wild, but more so the path of embracing the wild that I already had in me.
